The Right Way To Do It!
"Obituary" comes from the Latin "obitus," signifying "Demise", “Death”, or “Passing.”
It is a notification of death, generally imprinted in a local newspaper, that depicts the story of the departed soul. When one celebrity, athlete, or politician bites the dust, newspapers will typically print a tribute summing up such individual's life and achievements. In various scenarios, the family might decide to compose something and publish it in newspapers or on a committed site for obituaries.
I realized a while ago that besides being a human and having a good job, I’m working as a family student of history. Essentially as a human, we might end up finding ourselves with some troublesome tasks of composing a “necrology” for our loved ones who have passed recently. Assuming you are a genealogist, then there is no point in explaining how valuable these “death announcements “can be.
The details in any obituary frequently contain more information than another demise record and, in some cases, give more attributes associated with the life of a departed person, which enables us to learn more about him than any other medium.
By profession, I’m a writer, and it is easy to write an article of 2000 words on “Barbie as Rapunzel” or “Digital Mythologies,” a piece of cake, I would say. If you are the only writer in your family, trust me when I say “you are doomed,” because it surely means that your loved ones will offer much unpaid work and you have to get it done or else, you know what that “else” means. Assuming there are some relatives I haven’t met in my life so far, their kids are applying for universities, and the odds are high for receiving an email to edit or rewrite their essays. Is it even ethically right to call it a personal essay now?
On and off, my friends and neighbors ping me to assist them with their job applications, wedding toasts, and sometimes even their dating profiles, Haaah. There are 171,146 words in the Oxford dictionary, and among those words, my favorite is “No.” Saying “No” politely and declining free publication or project help is the best thing I have learned over the years, except if somebody requests me to help them write someone’s mortuary tribute or obituary.
The last words etched away from my fingers, listing man’s character and the impact he left on the world, keep me on a hook. My brain cells are always ready to launch a pen when honoring the words of remembrance.
Yet, the tricky part is;
How would you sum up someone’s whole life in a couple of passages?
How would you compose something that will respect the memory of your cherished one and help other people appreciate that memory?
People may find this concept an “elephant in the box” to write some final words for the person they don't know about. For what reason am I so anxious to invest my time in this fairly grim kind of writing?
The answer is simple, for an obituary, my words are not just mere words; altogether, they shape an everlasting impact, a memory one might say, but for me, it’s a legacy he engraved and passed on to his loved ones over the years.
On one side of the scale, this is because, having written necrology for friends and families, it’s near impossible to think clearly while grieving, and that’s what I envision, particularly in that event if you are not used to writing consistently. Sometimes, the task of crafting an obit can be described as powerfully overwhelming; however, my delight in the eulogistic genre originates from the fact that, eventually, we as a whole become stories. There is nothing more to us!
In some parts of the world, we are nothing but cinders to remains, and in some, we are nothing dust; sure, yes, but at the same time, our brains sing the song of their memories, words to words. For me, plucking thoughts and memories into words, it’s what makes it more meaningful, and there's nothing as exceptionally moving as a eulogy that catches and respects the soul of the departed.
The Scrutiny of an Obit
Yes, at some point, we all wished to write something for someone whom we loved, but we couldn’t find the right words that would do justice to the departed soul. So how can we write a final tribute for our long-lost loved ones, or in any event, for ourselves ahead of our last days?
Trace down the facts
Indeed, even when it comes to the most electrifying tribute, it ought to incorporate the key insights concerning how the person lived his life and passed away. To start with, you'll need to include the person’s name, where they were from, how old they were, the date they passed away, where they were located, and the reason for their death; at some points, the reason for demise can be discretionary.
From that point, you ought to proceed with other historical staples, for example, "where they married, whether they had children, and especially the details of their jobs (if they had any), and retirement."
The next step should be to include the close relationships and names of those who endured the departed, and when you are almost there, add the details of the memorial service. The parties should incorporate where to drop the flowers, donations (if there are any), and other must-know information for grievers. The narration of these subtleties can feel cold and unsympathetic. However, having the basics pinned down in your obituary is vital.
Present or Past
The most common mistake in writing someone’s eulogy is using the past and present tense. Most of us mix both, and believe it or not, I have seen some live chaotic versions of tributes.
I advise you to take this approach “for a moment, just assume you are interacting with the deceased person you are writing about.” Yes, think of them like they are not dead yet. It will help you to create the first draft. The second step is crucial, write this in a manner that you are writing it to their spouse, aunt, uncle, or best friend. Add positive that they might not have known."
Memorable Events
An obituary is all about the memories of the deceased person. The bits and bytes of crucial details of customary obit are what make it an exceptional tribute to the departed soul. It’s always about narrowing down the clearest memories of them.
I would put it like this;
What is the first word that rings a bell when you think of them?
What are the stories that show those characteristics?
To collect these memories in the obituary, run a talk session with friends and family members to jog up each other’s memories. See what neighbors and co-workers think of them; trust me, that’s a great spot, to begin with
The Questions
The questions to broaden the view of writing an obituary are;
How would you depict the deceased character?
What did other people say about them?
What are your favorite memories about them?
What were their achievements?
What were their interests/most loved things?
What did you love most about them?
Well I would love to add my thoughts too; it’s a dance between the two
How do they want to be remembered and how other people will remember them?
Final Call
Back in the day, the eulogy of a person was different, traditional, and dedicated to his core values. I’m not saying it is extinct or something. These days, people around us don’t really like conventional obituaries; humor should be there with a bit of wit, flair, and personality. Spirit doesn’t mean adding all the LOL moments. If the person is serious and lives his life more traditionally, I would not use humor.
In any way that you might want to compose something nuttier & grittier, an effective method for getting yourself on the right track is to envision yourself in a way that you are portraying your loved one to a future descendant of theirs. I recommend using your judgment regarding what is appropriate and what is not.
